You Are My Wild Project

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

To tell you all that little ones haven’t been on our brains would be a complete lie. Maybe they are on mine more than Mike’s but they are usually a topic of discussion a few or so times a week. I seriously am frightened by the idea, but also overly excited and emotional about the thought of having a kid. There are reoccurring dreams I have about our life as 3 and with all my friends having babies this Summer these thoughts are becoming increasingly more frequent.

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

So when I came across this project through Brooke Schwab called You are my Wild, my heart leaped. It is a weekly project of a group of photographers who share how they see their children and I find it captivating, cute, funny, and absolutely beautiful. See the full list of participants here.

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

I think my biggest hesitance with children is the little bit of time I can currently give of myself. So many people say that when a kid comes around they take all your time and energy…oh god that is frightening to me.  My life is so wrapped around working, building a business, making money to reach financial goals (aka buy a house), and finding the time just to feed the dogs, keep the house clean, and oh yeah get dressed and put makeup on like a real person. By no means do I believe this is a healthy way of living and I am hoping we will reach the end of this craziness by Summer, but I wonder how does it all fall together? How do you figure out to balance it all? Worst of all how do you know you are giving enough to that little soul?

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

Part of me sees a child as an opportunity to learn to enjoy life in a whole new way and through their eyes, but there is also a part of me that fears not having the time to slow down enough to know what I am experiencing and to really enjoy it. The reason this project is amazing to me is seeing how these business owning families are living, adventuring, creating, loving, and viewing the world. I sometimes need a reality check to know that it all works and somehow it will all balance out when the time is right for us. Things are not perfect but the most beautiful things never really are.

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

Most of the time when I think of having a little one I think back to my memories of being little. I lived for made up adventures. I collected reptiles and other creatures. I thought the creek behind our house when we lived in Kentucky was the most amazing thing ever to come in to my life. I spent hours there. I found nature extremely interesting and I lived for the creative parts of life. When I think of that I think of how amazing having children could be. These little people learning, discovering, and reminding us that life is pure and simple in ways we have lost sight of as 20 something adults.

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

Knowing that makes the idea of little ones in our life much less frightening and much more exciting. I finally have begun to understand my parents that much better just thinking of this potential of change in our lives one day.

You are my wild project  |  The Fresh Exchange

The funniest thing is how these feelings of wanting to begin a family happen and how your body has you craving certain experiences, such as having children. WTF body? I was always SO frightened of it, but more and more it sounds exhilarating,  fun, and amazing. Has this happened to any of you? Those that do have little ones and own a business…I want to hear your thoughts! Tell me!

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  1. Thanks for posting this! It sounds like we share similar feelings. I’ve always wanted children, but lately I’m having a harder time anticipating the transition. I can never explain it well to friends and family. I don’t think it’s fear, but maybe there is a sadness of the loss of the great life that I have. I believe that life will be better with kids, but it’s hard not to think of your life and aspirations taking a back seat. Hopefully that doesn’t sound too selfish.

  2. Honestly when I gave up on the idea of “balance” in my life with two little ones underfoot and an at-home freelance career, life became a lot more enjoyable. It’s crazy and wonderful and inspiring and exhausting, but balanced? Nope. A wild ride indeed!

  3. This is a cool project, but it’s so easy to make parenthood seem so magical and lovely with beautiful and well-edited photos 😉

    I have no desire to have children, but that’s just me. If the time feels right, go for it. It’ll all fall into place, I’m sure.

  4. I also came across this project though Brooke, it’s pretty awesome.
    I’m also just starting my own business now, sloooowly. I love kids, like so much! I’ve always been the oldest, surrounded my little cuties. Having my own kids is a bit of a distant thought still for me, maybe in a few years, but my boyfriend and I do talk about it, with smiles and fear 🙂

  5. I don’t have children, but my sister-in-law is an entrepreneur and owns two successful businesses and my brother is also a business owner and successful. Their success and expansion of their businesses have only increased since they had my niece. You and your husband will totally make it work and be more creative people with a child….and it will be SO fun!

  6. it’s impossible to tell you not to worry, but it will all just come together. your perspective expands. all of a sudden you wonder what you did with your time 🙂 thanks so much for loving our project! best wishes!

  7. OMG, I LOVE this project thanks for sharing it!

    My husband and I are trying to get pregnant so this speaks deeply to my heart right now; I hope to one day be taking pics like this of our little one.

    And when you and Mike have a kiddo I’m sure we’ll all be seeing some fabulous pics of them on here, can’t wait! 🙂

  8. btw it sounds like we had similar childhoods. i always want to make sure my kids get a little bit of that (since we live in a city). it’s so important.

  9. I have had the same fears you have. I love my life the way it is right now. I do want to have children and I am constantly being told that my time is running out the closer I approach the age 30.

    I keep telling people I am not ready and I have heard from many that you can never be ‘ready’ for children. I believe this to be true, however, I do think there is good timing. Right now, my husband and I are still exploring the world and enjoying our friends and freedom. The time will come when we decide to add littles to the mix, but that day is not today.

    When it is right for you and your husband, you guys will know.

    Great post!

  10. Great post. I’ve had the same sort of thoughts, but I think what we fail to remember is that your child is fitting into your life, you’re not fitting into theirs. While you want to do your best raising your new little one, you have to remember that you need to focus on your life and your relationship with your significant other. No good comes from automatically switching to “all about baby”. It’s very saddening to hear people think “my awesome life is over” (not that your post suggests that).

  11. I agree with Ashlea. I’m a young mother and when I accepted that I may never find the perfect “balance” life got so much more rewarding for both my toddler and for me. No time will ever be perfect; there’s always more money to be made, more time to be spent doing the things that we love, etc. but having children was the most rewarding experience of my life and I’m sure if you chose to go that direction you will not regret the time you didn’t spend on yourself. Do what makes you happy and enjoy the choices you make, always.

    Chelsea & The City

  12. Oh wow I will have to look at this project in depth! Having a child (or children in my case ha) changes your world forever, in the most beautiful way. Seeing the world through their eyes is so magical!

  13. It’s a difficult thing to imagine, life with kid(s) but it is such an amazing experience.

    I won’t say you can have it all, because no one gets it “all” no matter what choices they make, but you can have MOST of what you want, just not all at once.

    It’ll all come together and you’ll figure it out in a way that makes sense for you and Mike.

    Exciting times!

  14. I’m still a working professional, but am so looking forward to have kids. Terrified, yes… But so excited to build a family and community. It always seems like the memories that are the strongest and most sweet are the ones during the crazy wild times; and if that’s what kids bring, I can’t wait.

  15. I think you’re smart to have reservations & even fears. In all honesty, it is incredibly hard to have young children and run a business and feel successful at both (I know I haven’t figured it out, if it’s even possible). I agree with Ashlea in that there’s no such thing as balance. BUT, I’d say that even with all the challenges it is 100% worth it.

  16. What a beautiful project! What gets me is that I do feel my body wanting babies and I feel my heart longing more than ever at the sight of them yet I am even a few steps before where you are! I don’t have my own business nor a husband. Someday though, when I am ready, I look forward to giving in 🙂

  17. Yes! I’m in such a similar boat, as far as the bio clock beginning to tick. I cannot be in children’s clothing sections right now, I disintegrate into a squealing mess – way embarrassing. But my life is definitely not ready yet with work, school and an internship. It’s so scary and confusing to start wanting kids!

  18. 1st child, I was 38 and a fearful mess. I discovered that it was me rising to become an entirely new better different person. And I thank that experience for finally making me brave enough to write and blog. So I’m due to have my second child today, at 46 years old. Same worry about bio clock as you. And now I have decided that the blog and the baby will both progress at the rate they can and will and I must let go of knowing exactly how that works. Just relying on the fact that I kept the first one alive until almost age 8. And the blog, well it is organic too. I am a success just for having it for a year and a half. And what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
    Love your stuff,
    (pronounced like Shay-la)

  19. It took me so long to become okay with the idea of having kids – I always wanted them but when the crunch came, I realised I was way more scared than I originally thought. It’s a huge deal! There’s no turning back either!!! I agree to a point with Cassie when she says you’ll never be ready – but I think there comes a point where you’re ready to accept whatever your new life will look like. Ashley mentioned that children are fitting into your life, not other way around. I thought it should be like that too – but there’s an inevitability – your life DOES change and it’s unkind to expect your kids to always do your stuff, your way, in your time. Equally so, it’s unkind to yourself to always to their stuff, their way, in their time.

    Megan, if you have parents nearby who are willing to help you out when you need it, you’ll find that a huge help. Good luck – it’s a rollercoaster ride, full of highs, lows, gut wrenching twists and turns…….but life is so much more full and colourful with little mini’s in it 🙂

  20. I was just having a conversation with my coworker today about this, and how I’m a bit afraid of having kids just yet not only due to the main reasons (aka are we financially ready? no) but also because I like my ‘me time’, and I’m afraid having a child will make that impossible.
    She pointed out that like with anything in life, you adjust. Life will be different, priorities will be different, and it will work out just fine.
    No matter how crazy life is you will find the time to be with your little one(s), because you will want to make the time.
    (so exciting!)

  21. I remember talking with you about this in the airport home after ALT ’12!
    You’ve summed up a lot of my same feelings.
    I’m not afraid to have children, like some friends or family may think, I’m afraid about the shift in time and priorities for the rest of my life, work, and hobbies that comes with having an infant. For some reason, I see myself with older children with no problem, but the idea of having an infant is what’s holding me back. I’ve recently seen life become more balanced for some of my friends with school-aged children and realized that I’ll never get to that point if I don’t jump in at all… so I suppose I’ll jump 🙂

  22. can’t wait to check out this project.

    it is crazy. but somehow you manage. i don’t know the difference in that i started all of this after kids were already in the picture. yes, it will interrupt everything and turn your world upside down but you will find a way to turn things right side up and juggle and then wonder, “what did i do before kids?”

    but truly, it is the greatest adventure ever and seeing life through a child’s eyes again is nothing short of magic.

    ps- i had a creek behind my house too…. some of my fave memories!

  23. Having little ones does change a lot of things, ok, everything. But it’s not forever. It might mean you have to slow down on the business for a bit, a few months, years, whatever you fancy. Tyler and I love to travel and didn’t want to give that up when we had children, so we made a decision not to. My little ones (3 and 1) have been all over America (we live in England), St Lucia, France, Belgium, Scotland, Ireland, and are planning a trip to South Africa this fall. What I’m saying is that your priorities are a choice. I love my sweet boys, but would feel like a part of me was missing if I didn’t have my photography business and travel. Make the kids part of your life’s adventure, your life doesn’t need to stop, but be prepared for reworking how life looks now. Good luck!

  24. I love love Brooke’s project. Her instagram feed is also full of beautiful pics of life and children. I own my own business and am currently expecting our first little baby. I finally gave up the need to feel “ready.” How can you ever be ready for your entire life to be turned upside down? I hit a mark in my business where I feel like I emotionally have some space to create more of a personal life and then we just went for it. But ready? Eek. It gets even scarier the day you see the positive pregnancy result!!

  25. I’m so glad to know someone else shares the same desires and fears as me. So many of our friends are starting to have babies and most of the time we don’t feel ready, but it’s hard not to catch the fever. I am so ready to experience it all, just like you said. But I also have a fear of missing it. I told my mom one night, I am so busy with life, I don’t know how I could add in having a child, I would never have time to give them a bath! I think it’s because I have such a desire to plan it out, but I know that whenever it happens it will fall into place. I don’t currently own a business but I would love to, and I’m working on it, so a part of me feels like I need to accomplish that first, which I kinda dislike. Thanks for the inspiring post, this sounds like an amazing project!