What is Love…

What is Love and how do I stand for it? Asking for myself.

I woke up this morning to send a tweet. A nice tweet. Instead, I am sitting here with my head in my hands and feeling the need to write. I am so enraged with our world. I feel the weight of being a mother. I feel the weight of an opportunity to say what I believe and show my son what it means to not just stand up for yourself but for others when they are wronged. I don’t do politics. I don’t enjoy them, but this is no longer political.

Sitting here in front of the computer, reading twitter, watching news stream in I was in shock and awe. My head in my hands. This cannot be our world? This cannot be where we live? This cannot be where I am raising a child? How is it that we are watching people waving confederate flags and Nazi regime flags in the streets America in 2017?! Not to mention how is it that our President cannot clearly state how wrong this is? What is happening? All in the same breathe, how are we surprised?

My gosh I don’t have answers. I have very few. I have a lot of anger and I will tell you I will not be among the silent that are white, Christian, middle class, and watching it all happen. Change will never happen if people such as myself do not speak up and say this isn’t me, this isn’t us, and this isn’t okay. I have too many loved ones. Too many friends I dearly want to stand up for and I believe we as a group can do the most good to say I DO NOT stand for this. I don’t care your political feelings or if you think this doesn’t belong here. I am saying this because one day, my son will ask me how I responded to this during this time in our history and I want him to know I wrote this and said I won’t stand for it. I want him to know that I used my reach of nearly a million followers to say that there is no place for this kind of hate in our country and we will NOT stand for it for even half a breath. I want my friends of Color that are Gay that are Muslim that are Jewish that are Lesbian that are Trans that are different than me in any way to know that I will stand for them because I believe our differences are what makes the world beautiful.

I don’t know how to fix this hate and I don’t have answers, but I want everyone that reads this space to know that we NEVER will sit silent about things like this. We will lead by example for our son that there is no tolerance for hate, ridicule, or acceptance for people who inflict pain on others.

Yesterday, I was so upset and distraught about what to say about everything and had no idea how to REALLY respond. So I reached out to Roe Cummings (our contributor this month) who I knew I could be open, vulnerable, and real with me about my struggle. She listened to me, gave me the space to ask some hard questions, and really heard me. In response, she gave me back the words and thoughts I was trying to find within myself. She told me “Megan, you do not need to give an answer, sometimes a question is as good as an answer.” She was right and she told me I was asking myself over and over “What is love and how do I stand for it?” She cleared it all away. She changed me. She heard me. It was powerful.

That said, I do not believe in hate. I will forever fight against it. This space is about love, living a life you love, and ANYTHING that takes that away from someone will be something I stand up against.

Any hateful or negative comments will be removed because we do not accept that here. Not in the past or in the future.

Also, if you missed Roe contributing post this week, READ IT! She is amazing.

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  1. Megan, thank you for this necessary post. I’m as troubled and sickened by everything going on, the same as any decent person should be these days. I also admit that sometimes I like to just escape into my favorite blogs and think about clothes and food and home decor… And I think it’s completely justified to give ourselves little indulgences in these times… It’s a form of self care.

    But it’s vitally important that we don’t ignore what’s happening. We have to address it in – strong – terms, and I love how you addressed it here. Thank you again.

  2. Thank you so much for writing this. I am seeing several bloggers I follow, who don’t typically get political, taking a stand and I am so glad to see it. One small thing I’ve done over the past couple of years, as a white lady, is to diversify the media I consume, especially with books. I was reading tons of books by other white ladies, and I decided to focus on choosing books by authors of color, immigrant authors, etc. It has broadened my view SO much, and I really recommend it.

    1. Hi Lindsay. I really admire and love your idea to diversify your reading. Do you have any book suggestions for someone interested in doing the same? Many thanks in advance!

      1. Hi Stephanie! As far as nonfiction, I learned a lot from Mychal Denzel Smith’s “Invisible Man, Got the Whole World Watching”, and Michelle Alexander’s “The New Jim Crow” is enraging, essential reading. For fiction, right now I’m almost finished with Yaa Gyasi’s “Homegoing” and it is absolutely incredible. I don’t want it to end. And all of Zadie Smith’s novels are wonderful, but my favorites are “white Teeth” and “Swing Time”.

        1. Thank you, Lindsay! I’m going to check out my local bookstore for used copies of any of these this weekend. Many many thanks and hugs to you from CA 🙂

  3. Thank you for this words, I’m not from the USA but as everybody knows, what happens there affects the whole world. Our cultural differences make hard to understand how you got to this point, but I applaud you for using this space to voice your opinion and for being on the right side of history. I can’t understand how other bloggers and influencers aren’t voicing their opinions right now, how can they go on with their regular posts of unicorn cakes and home tours when their neighbors are being mistreated and are scared to even leave their houses?
    Thank you.

  4. Megan, your post was spot on. This isnt political anymore. Its heart wrenching for me tO see all the hate in the world. As a chiLd i went to church and sang songs sbout love, harmony and loving each other. We lIve in Northern Michigan in a bubble. But even that will no longer be safe if hAte is allowed to fester. The internet is a wonderful thing but also it has given voice to the haters and empowered them to speak oUt and unite. I dont have answers either. I feel you voiced what i was feeling and thank you for that. Being a retired business woman for years i was afraid to take a stand because it would affect my work. We just cant Be afraid.

  5. Thank you for writing and sharing this, Megan. I’m so grateful to read how other people are grappling with this terrible moment, and it’s very helpful to read such a frank and honest response.

  6. Thank YOu so much FOr writing this post. I AM an avid follower of your BLog and as a woman of color, this ONLY magnifies THe respect that I have for YOU . Thank you. Love AND light.

  7. Thank you, Megan. As a fellow white middle class lady, I’m also busy examining my role in the system of oppression that is white privilege. I am coming to the realization that the statement, “I don’t do politics” is one of extreme privilege. To not engage with democracy in an active way is the luxury afforded to those who benefit from the status quo. as I contemplate this reality—that if we truly care about our friends and family who identify as queer or are racially or religiously different from us, that we have to engage in politics—I’m encouraging my other non-political friends to do the same. Thank you again for speaking up.

    1. I agree!
      I don’t usually comment, but I was struck by the “But this is no longer political”. I think the opposite applies, Everything is political and this is a time where all of us feel it the most (Whether we want it to be or not.)
      Because Every choice you make every single day, the products you buy (& where they came from) and any choice you make about your family is always political, love and hate is always political.
      But As long as we are privileged and live within the norms that are given, our daily life can seem non-political as our privilege is mostly invisible to ourselves.

      But I also know, that you probably have a different understanding of what is political, which is closer to questions of political parties or the system they are part of, you can resent those or be tired of the debates. but not only is it our privilege which allows us to be tired of it, but it is also not possible to not be political, when everything we do every day is.

  8. thank yOu for these beautifull words… i recogniZe your yOung mother stRuggles wHen theSe hatefull events occur.. i find comfort in others standing up, spEaking out and choosing anOther path… you inSpire me, as a motHer, a creative mind and someone aspiring living an honest, authentic and sImple life… a post like this speAksout like that, your son can be proud! LOve caroline

  9. Love not hate. abolish fear. i wish people could see that we’re not that different. why is it so hard for some to just get along?! Just get a.l.on.g.

  10. I know I’m late in commenting on this. But as a woman of color, and a reader of yours for some time now, I so appreciate your sentiments. You are doing exactly what you should and what is right. You are standing against intolerance and hate, and that’s what we need more of from everyone of every creed, race, nationality, religion, etc.

    i have a son, too, around the same age as yours. He’s biracial, half black and half white. And I want him to grow up with an appreciation and love for both of his races and heritages. bUT i, TOO, WANT TO RAISE HIM TO KNOW THAT HATE IS NEVER OKAY, THAT LOVE ALWAYS WINS, AND THAT HE SHOULD ALWAYS STAND AGAINST INJUSTICE OF ANY KIND.

    yOU’RE A GOOD MOM, Megan. and thank you for your support!

    1. So glad you love this!!! Thank you for your comment and so glad you feel how much we don’t stand for this kind of hate. Keep fighting the good fight! You are amazing as well 🙂