Finding Home

Finding Home |  The Fresh Exchange

This week, as we continue to pack and prep for our move, I am realizing my current concept of home is about to change in major ways. Growing up all I wanted was to stay in one place and have this level of consistency in my life. It got pretty old moving every 4-5 years of my life growing up. I would say hello to one friend and just when I became pretty close I would be saying goodbye. I learned very quickly to never let my roots go in too deep because it only meant a lot of sadness later. This may explain why now I don’t get overly attached to much other than just a few things such as my husband, dog, and a few key pieces of clothing. Sorting through and packing your life as child every 4-5 years keeps you from wanting to keep much cause it only means a lot of work later.

So when I graduated from college I thought I would move back to Traverse and that is where I would be forever. I figured I would get married here, buy a house here, have kids here, they would graduate here, and I would grow old here. The pace of life was my speed and everything felt very much like home for the first time in a long time. I had spent my whole growing up years simply wanting to be back here and stay in the place I was born.

Now here I am packing my life up and heading to a new place, a place that in some way feels weirdly even as much like home as Traverse does. I never expected to be here doing this and feel as excited about it as I do. I hate saying that because this place means so much to me. Even as the chill takes over the air here and I am hating that I am already always cold, I realize this place is very special to me.

After years of moving and then going through this move, I have realized that I don’t know if we can ever have a home like we believe we can. More and more I have grown to learn that the the things we collect are simply things. The space we place them in is simply a space. The thing that decides home is who is beside you having dinner, the dog that sits at your feet, the friends you meet at the bar. So in fact home is very little to do with the place and more to do with those around you. This idea has made me desire far less things and more relationships and experiences with the ones I love.

It is sad to pack up our life here and think life will be different this next year. It is sad to say see you in June friends. It is sad to think about leaving Lake Michigan for such a long time because it has always been the calm to my soul. There is no denying there is a part of me that will always crave for my toes to be in that water and for the refreshing dips in the depths of that crystal clear water, but my goal was always to never take it for granted. This year I found myself not taking it in with such joy as I had in prior years. So, even though I hate thinking of leaving I am excited to miss this place. I am excited to miss all that has become far too familiar. More than anything I am excited for when we return and to crest over that hill and see that Lake sitting there as if she has been just waiting for me to return.

I know it will be a hard good bye when we leave at the end of the month, but I also know the rolling hills of North Carolina will find their way in to my heart in a way I don’t even understand yet. I know that very quickly Raleigh will be labeled home in my heart just as much as Traverse City has been these past years.

So as I box up each thing and toss so much, I feel an aching to be back here before I have left but also aching to be somewhere I have not arrived yet. The strangest feeling…have you felt that?

As we sit in between these 2 places we are enjoying great meals with friends, drinks with those we love, and meeting with those who inspire us. Just trying hard to soak up this place we are now and absorb these moments as much as we can.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend plans and I hope you are able to have time to look at the city you are in with new eyes this weekend. Try to not overlooking things around you. Work hard to keep your eyes wide as if it was your first time. Amazing what we can find and be inspired by when we stop taking what we have for granted.

Next week we have a very cool dinner to share with you, which is where the above image came from. This is Miss Nancy and she is the pup of the owners of Baabaazuzu who we recently did a very great shoot with.

Till next week my friends.

Leave a comment

  1. Funny how while I managed to stay in the same place for the vast majority of my life and am now moving around ALOT thanks to my hisband’s job, I’ve come to the same conclusion about what home means. We talk about it often– when we do finally decide its time to land in one spot, will we ever really know if that spot is truly “home”? Indeed, each place we go has a feeling of home because we are there together, and even if for just a few months, it is where we make our nest and where we share our life together. That joined life has become more my definition of home than any mere house or town could ever provide. Although I could do without all the packing/unpacking..ha! Happy weekend!

  2. You described that very neatly. I totally know the feeling of wanting to be in two places at the same time so well. When I was 17, I lived in the US as an exchange student for a year. And having to go back to Germany after a year and leave behind the life I had build up there and all the wonderful people I met was the saddest thing. But at the same time I could not wait to get back and see my family and friends there after such a long time. Being sad and happy and excitrd at the same time and wanting to be in two places. Also, this is a feeling, that never completely left me. No matter how happy I am in the place I live at, I regularly have times where I’m aching to be back in a place I have lived for a while. I don’t even want to move to a new place because that would just add one more place that I ache to be at. Still, it’s a gift to have had the chance to live in different places of the world.

  3. Thanks for your personal mawrvelous posting! I truly njoyed reading
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  4. remind me of one of my favorite quotes: “we are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. as often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.”

  5. Wonderful thoughts on what it means to make and have a home. For some reason, this really touched me today – as I prepare to leave college and hope to find somewhere of my own to call home, it’s especially pertinent to remember that we can’t have a “home” like we believe we can. Therefore, home becomes the people we share our lives with, both near and far. Good luck with your move!!
    -Amanda

  6. I know how hard it is to get up and leave so often, its hard to set your heart on too many things when they will be ripped away so quick. I moved a lot in the last few years, and finally decided to settle in Georgian Bay at the cottage.. Do some reno’s and stay as long as possible.. well that WAS the plan, things now are changing, I found out Im accepted into a Graphic Design program in Jan, so Ill be moving yet again.

    This is so well written and is the perfect fit for me. Thanks for sharing, I always love hearing what a blogger is feeling/thinking.

    I hope you guys all have a “easy” move, and you find inspiration, and beauty in North Carolina, it truly is Beautiful there!!

    Stephanie Vainer,
    http://www.whimsicalappeal.blogspot.ca
    Lifestyle & Photography Blog.

  7. Wow. I have experienced this feeling between my hometown and where I live now for college, and you summed it up perfectly. It’s amazing that you both are so excited to experience somewhere else, and that you’re positive. Personally leaving the familiar makes me sad, so this is a great reminder to be positive about experiencing new things.

  8. I too have traveled around a lot and hold certain places very dear to my heart. This is a new adventure and I’m sure the heart will grow fonder of Traverse City and you’ll fall in love with North Carolina too. Good luck!

  9. Hello there, I just wanted to comment on this beautiful photo of Nancy . . . you really captured her expression!

    I spend a lot of time training her as a pup (back when she was living in a different home!), and I thought you’d enjoy this photo of Nancy and her brother Harry engaged in a ‘tug of bread’ when they were youngsters: http://www.amabellen.blogspot.com/2012/08/862012.html

    It was lovely to stumble upon your corner of the online world!