Its all around us these days: the in-between. Everything feels in the middle of arriving here in our house. We sit in wait for completion and the someday of it all “being done.” We all know this feeling. I am sure right now you feel it in big or small ways in your life. You keep anticipating, waiting, and waking each day hoping today is the day it will be that someday it will be complete.
The piles of in-between in our life are immense these days. There is the in-between of our studio, just weeks away. There is the in-between of our yard and fence. There is the in-between of the paint on our house. There is the in-between of work and where we hope our dreams take us. The piles of the in-betweens aren’t small.
The hardest in-between for me, this year has been our garden. I look forward each summer to the time I get in the dirt. I love the simplicity of life with a garden. I love the work it takes to grow great veggies and a crop that you can daily eat from. Since we purchased our home, I have had grand dreams of what my garden will become someday. I dream of the life the garden will give to us. I dream of a greenhouse and the joy of finding something green on a snowy winter day in a glass room outside. My favorite of these dreams is the smell a tomato plant places on your hand. Even with all of my dreams this year, we couldn’t make my dream garden come to life. We wanted to, but the garden will have to wait. Thus, I find myself this summer with a garden that is in-between. At first I felt failure and disappoint in not having the beginnings of a garden that seemed headed in the direction of my dream.
I had a moment at the garden store purchasing pots where I almost threw in my hat on a garden altogether, thinking “but this isn’t what I hoped for.” There is that achiever and perfectionist side of me coming out in full swing. What I realized after telling myself I was silly and needed to seriously grow up, was though it wasn’t the garden I wanted wouldn’t exist, this year’s garden was the garden I needed. I realized how important this time right now is to building that “someday” garden I want. The journey to arrive at that forever looming someday is just as life changing and important as having it right there in front of me if not more so. The struggle, the learning, the growth, and the challenge of arriving at what you want and desire is the most important part.
That day I left the garden store with a cart full of what would be my in-between garden, I was excited. I knew this year’s garden would be my teacher. It would teach me what would grow well, how the sun moves in our yard, and it would be forgiving enough to let me make mistakes. That day I spent getting dirty while planting everything that would be my guinea pigs this year in this new place. I walked away with dirt under my nails, a garden that would supply just what we needed this summer, and most important the smell of fresh tomato plant on my hands. Life felt right even as I found myself in-between.
Too often, we want to overlook the mess of the space between where we are and where we want to be, that we miss the beauty of how we will one day arrive. So, while those in-betweens pile up, remember to let them teach you things, feel grateful for these moments, and remember that this is what makes that looming someday that much more special when it finally arrives just on time.
